


A Thin Veil

by TwilightMaster15



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Illness, Death Eraser, Fear of Death, Feelings Realization, M/M, Sad, Suicide Attempt, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23665120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightMaster15/pseuds/TwilightMaster15
Summary: There is a thin veil between sadism and masochism, life and death, order and chaos, and all of this becomes apparent as Light comes up with his most sadomasochistic plan yet, willingly subjecting himself to illness and an agonizing death to force the hand of the task force and scare them into dropping the case, as well as prove his "innocence."While L suspects that this is all somehow Light's doing, he finds it harder and harder to watch Light suffer as he gets increasingly ill, even if he wants to help catch Kira with the limited amount of time he has left. L refuses to lose the game, but at the same time finds the idea of losing Light to be equally unpleasant, leading him to search frantically for a loophole or capture Kira before Light dies as collateral damage.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 35
Kudos: 239





	1. Chapter 1

Light tore at his hair, cursing Misa for being stupid and L for being smart enough to capture her within two days of Misa coming into his life and her Shinigami saying it was Light's job to keep her safe. Why though?! He hadn't asked her to do anything! She had been acting all on her own, and even when he did try to give her an order, she directly disobeyed him and ruined everything!

He reread the rules of the notebook, trying to think of a plan to get himself and Misa out of this mess, which currently made him feel as though the noose was already around his neck. He just needed a plan, and then he wouldn't feel so close to a panic attack. Could he even get out of this alive?

Light pursed his lips, realizing something as an idea formed in his mind. No... he probably couldn't get out of this alive, or could he? He looked to Ryuk as he turned on the television, quickly gaining a feel for some people who were strong Kira supporters. "Say, Ryuk, is there any way for someone to be brought back after being killed by the Death Note?" He had already learned the limit of control was 23 days—much to his disappointment, so he couldn't pair up criminals to die always for months ahead of time.

Ryuk laughed, "I was wondering how long it would take for you to ask that." He dug into his pocket and pulled out an eraser, which had a corner rounded in a way that said it had been used before, "With this eraser, you can revive someone who has been killed with the Death Note—you can even just erase the name to kill them again and again!"

Light held the eraser, a plan forming in his head as a dark grin blossomed on his face. "Is there any limit?"

"I would assume until the eraser runs out," Ryuk replied, "And that's gonna take a while." Light sat down at his desk, whipping out some paper and beginning to write. This was going to be a _long_ message.

Did he possess enough masochism to go through with this plan? Well, they say the line between sadism and masochism was paper-thin, but in Light's case, it was more like a Venn diagram. So, yes, while his lacking-memories self was going to hate him for this, did it really matter? It was either this or be led to the gallows. And maybe he could use this as a giant "fuck you!" to Misa for being such a colossal moron that he had needed to go through with this sadomasochistic plan.

It was nearly three in the morning, far later than he usually stayed up, by the time he finished with all the instructions, putting the multi-paged packet in a large envelope with the Death Note. "Ryuk, can you hold onto this for a while even if I have ownership?" 

Ryuk took the envelope, "Yeah. What's your plan, Light-o?"

"I am going to ask L to be confined. Tomorrow I will talk to Rem and have her take her Death Note to some arbitrary power-hungry scapegoat. And if you hear me say 'get rid of it' for any reason during confinement, I am renouncing ownership of my notebook, and you are to give the envelope to a man named Teru Mikami. I have written pages worth of instructions and different scenarios to follow my orders precisely, and I specified that he must give you lots of apples." Ryuk very clearly brightened at the idea of more apples,

"What are you going to have him do?"

Light chuckled, putting a playful finger to his lips, which were forming a villainous smirk, "You'll see, but it's going to be interesting."

OoOoO

It was Day 11 of confinement, and it was today that Light, lacking his memories, really felt the effects of his Kira self's plan. His whole body was freezing, and his muscles ached horribly—or maybe that was his current living conditions. So he was more than content to lay on the stone floor and attempt the get comfortable, too weak to go through the effort of getting up on the bed, which only had a paper-thin mattress's difference from just staying on the floor.

But meanwhile, the task force was panicking. Kira had been gone for eight days, and for the last three, 450 people have died daily. Kira was clearly making up for the lost time. And what was worse, they got a tape from Sakura TV, with the same font used as the Second Kira, with an ultimatum that horrified everyone, and L was unsure if he should even tell the chief lest the poor man have another heart attack.

_"Kira, forgive me for getting involved, but I want to help you, and you seem to be ignoring me. So I have decided to use my knowledge of the task force to assist you. Light Yagami is currently detained as a person of interest in the investigation, so while it is entirely possible to be a misunderstanding, there is no guarantee I am targeting an innocent. And as such, I have an ultimatum for the task force and L as I know many of them care deeply for Light. I have cast my power upon Light Yagami so he will become increasingly ill until an agonizing death—but you can stop this if L announces he is quitting the investigation. If I find out this is a falsehood, I will not restore the boy's health. I hope you make the right decision."_

L paled—which considered how pale he was, was a bit weird. Yes, the second Kira would kill innocents, but the way that was planned for Light... but hey, it seemed Kira really could kill in more ways than heart attacks, that was interesting to know. Could he only control natural causes with the body like illness and heart failure, or could he cause deaths like being hit by a truck?

"Watari, check on Light-Kun," he ordered, and Matsuda was the second person to speak. Aizawa was trembling, and L figured it was the realization that the children of the task force members could be attacked, meaning his own daughter could be in danger. 

But something didn't sit right with L about this. Why torment Light like this and not just kill the task force? Light was the type to be vindictive and efficient, so if he had the power to kill everybody and had the second Kira working for him who only needed faces to kill, why not just kill all of them here and now? Would Light really go this route to make the case crash and burn? 

"So... if the second Kira is still active, does this mean Misa-Misa is innocent?" L hadn't thought about that, but he supposed that yes it would be the case. So why was Misa's hair on the evidence? Maybe it was a creepy Misa stalker—she had a problem with those, which had mere hours ago served as more proof of her guilt.

"I suppose it at least puts her in the grey. Matsuda, you can free her from her cell and take her to a hotel room where she will still be under 24-hour camera observation, but much more comfortable." It was a blow to his pride to potentially be proven wrong, and that was also what didn't sit right with him. It was like this whole message served to disprove everything he had concluded up to this point. And there still hadn't been a message from the original Kira in response to these. 

One of the tapes had said the second Kira had found the first, so maybe this was all Light's plan, but again it landed on the issue of if Light had enough masochism to inflict this upon himself. He certainly hadn't been acting differently except sleeping more, so it wasn't like he was being melodramatic about this to gain sympathy. L knew the task force would lose it if Light's life was in danger, and he still went about accusing him, so he decided to keep it to himself until he learned enough about Light to see if he really would go this far to prove himself innocent. 

And all this did was make _Misa_ seem innocent 100%, so would Light protect someone else above himself? L knew for sure that no, Light would not do that unless he seriously needed to.

He got a message from Watari, saying that Light had a high fever. L cursed, messaging back that L himself would take care of Light, to keep him close. 

Now, would he let this message go public? Or would he hide the huge issue the task force now faced? Eventually, he realized this message would cause disaster, so he opted to not let Sakura TV broadcast it. But what could he do if Light's life depended on him dropping the case?

Then he smirked. There had been no specified time limit. Whether this was an error that would be fixed shortly, or intentional, L didn't care because he was going to abuse this for as long as possible. There was no time limit for how long Light had to live, so all he had to do was solve this case quickly and keep Light as comfortable as possible, and everything should be okay.

At least that was what he told himself, even if his gut told him this was going to end badly.


	2. Chapter 2

L drank a cup of chamomile tea, consulting with the task force on what action should be taken regarding the new threat. Light was asleep in L's bed in the other room, drifting into slumber the moment he was free from his restraints. When L had laid eyes on him sleeping, he had looked so peaceful if not a little flushed. 

Soichiro was clearly horrified, his hair still messed up and only becoming more so as he tore at it in search of an answer as quiet sobs tore themselves from his body. Aizawa was drinking a small glass of saké. Both fathers were coming to the horrible realization their children were targets for Kira.

"Maybe it's just Light..." Mogi offered reluctantly, "He is exceptionally well known, and it stands to reason the chief is part of the case, and since Light has helped the NPA before, maybe Kira was just taking a gamble on all of us caring enough about him to drop the case."

"I suppose that could be right," Aizawa muttered, "But I can't be part of this case if my daughter could get killed because of it."

"I understand," L looked down at his drink, "Mr. Yagami, what do you think?" Soichiro looked up wearily,

"How long does he have?" 

"I don't know—there was no specification." L bit his thumb, looking in the direction of where Light was sleeping, "If I had to guess, it's however long until the fever, or more accurately the infection causing it, kills Light-Kun. This does mean that medical advances might be able to prolong his life until we bring Kira to justice."

"And then what?" Matsuda asked, and L already knew the task force was falling to despair, and honestly, for a good reason, "We capture Kira, but this is the second Kira, who we have no leads on now that Misa is in the clear!" The young officer's whole body was trembling, and it was clear he was terrified. Everyone here was willing to risk their own lives, but their loved ones being used as metaphorical hostages created a whole new gravity to the situation. 

"Ryuzaki," Soichiro asked, "What do you plan to do? Even if we quit the case, it's your choice that influences Light's life." 

L was silent, having no idea what he was supposed to do, but was prevented from speaking by the sound of coughing from the other room. He got up and rushed into the room, seeing Light was awake and looking at him with exhausted cocoa eyes. L could tell the cough was in Light's throat or upper chest, which was assuring for the time being, but he knew deep down that it was going to get worse.

"You're awake," that was all L could rasp out, and Light nodded, rubbing his eyes,

"I've been awake for a little while. I heard everything about the task force not knowing what to do, and I'm..." he trailed off, probably not wanting to confront that possibility of his young life being cut so painfully short. But then he shook himself, "Ryuzaki, you need to bring Kira to justice!"

Honestly, of all the responses there were to hearing you were dying as collateral damage, _this_ was not anywhere near what L had imagined Light Yagami would say. And if Light was Kira, why wouldn't he be trying to use this to convince the task force even further to quit the case—or perhaps this was reverse psychology.

But what was he supposed to say? Light was a very peculiar individual, so agreeing with him might make him freak out, but he'll get angry if anyone disagrees. This situation was extremely challenging because there was no correct answer—it was all an ethical debate, which had proven time and time again to not be an aspect of life he excelled at.

Thankfully, Mr. Yagami rushed over to Light's side, holding his hand, "Light, are you sure you mean that? You could—"

"Yes," Light coughed, "I mean it. Besides, there might be a way to defeat Kira and save my life." L brightened, instantly catching onto what Light was thinking,

"If we capture the original Kira, we might be able to spare him in exchange for the second Kira releasing his hold over Light. We just need to find some leads and get a ton of medication in here."

"Exactly," Light plastered on a very clearly fake smile, like an air hostess, as he tried to get up. Soichiro rushed to steady him, but Light shook his head as he leaned against the wall, "I'm fine, just stood up too fast."

Light's skin went ashen, and he stumbled forward before he fell, L and Matsuda grabbing for his arms as he tumbled. Then he lay there on the floor as still as a corpse, before struggling to sit up, again refusing any help. Watari was the one who wasn't having any of it and assisted Light into a chair in the main room, also giving him some tea and honey.

Light panted for a moment, before smiling gratefully to Watari, "Thank you..." he looked back to everyone, "Come on, guys, I don't have time for you all to stand around, and I'd like to live into adulthood."

Everyone snapped out of their shock as Light set the tea on the coffee table and grabbed a computer with shaky hands.

"Well, if you're okay with it, Light," Matsuda said, "I guess we could continue." Aizawa sighed,

"Sorry, Light, but I need to make sure Yumi is okay before anything else."

"That's fine. A distracted mind is of no help to the case anyway," Light replied, searching through files as fast as he could, typing like he was running out of time—which he was.

L grabbed another computer, deciding to get to work. At least Light _seemed_ okay with the current situation, but of course, the detective knew this was an utter lie. He could see the pain and terror in Light's eyes, and the fact he was hunching not unlike L himself. He was scared—not that L could blame him because he was sure he would feel the same way in Light's shoes, and Light was remarkably brave for putting up such a facade for justice's sake. 

He wondered what would happen when Light's forced positivity faded, would he go back on what he had been saying about solving the case regardless? All of this still didn't sit well with L, who also found himself wishing his friend wasn't going to suffer through this. Some people had fevers and felt mostly fine, was it too much to hope Light would be the same way?

He decided to count his blessings on the fact Light was at least pretending to be okay, no matter how un-Kira-like that was... well, was it? Light was very proud, so that could be why he was so determined to hide any weakness, but L would think Kira would purposefully divert the expectation and act all pitiful. But then again, he could also be too prideful to get fully into character.

No... Light—or, rather, Kira—was a remarkable actor, so if he was trying to sell the story, he would go all out with this, pride be damned.

_What is going on in your head, Light Yagami?_

...

_Oh god, am—am I going to die?!_

Light pushed past the pain in his lungs, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself down. Retreat would be a disaster, a show of weakness was an inlet for the enemy—or worse, pity—to surge through. Nothing in his face betrayed his fear, it was a mask of defiance and surety. 

The fear would need an out, of course, but he wasn't going to break down here and plead for his life like a pathetic worm, defying his very own morals for his own sake. There was a time and a place to let himself process what might happen, and this sure as hell wasn't it.

Waves of heat coursed through his blood, and he was unsure whether he preferred this to the chills he had been feeling for days as a cold sweat glistened on his forehead. The cup of delightful tea stared at him from the table, he took a sip and slouched even further as he frantically searched for something— _anything_ —that could be a lead able to save his life.

Because—Because he couldn't die yet! And yet, how was he supposed to change the world as a great officer like his father if he was also the catalyst for Kira ruling the world?! No, that was unacceptable, and he would rather die trying to do what was right than to live as a coward—but living after defeating Kira was a much-preferred option.

On the topic of his father, Light had mixed feelings. His father hadn't fought him more than an "are you sure?" on the possibility of being a martyr to defeat Kira. That was good, right? But somewhere in the pit of his stomach, he felt ill—maybe that was the literal sickness slowly killing him talking—at the idea his father had chosen justice over his son's life.

Maybe he was just overthinking things. After all, his father could be waiting for him to change his mind? Perhaps he just needed time to process it, and he would at least try to fight in Light's defense. Honestly, as annoying as it would be, it would be the thought that would be nice, to know family wasn't 2nd place to justice.

As he felt another sharp pain in his abdomen, fear curled up inside him and clung to his ribs, settling uncomfortably in his chest. He didn't doubt the feeling was there to stay, reminding him of its existence every time he opened his mouth to breathe.

_Calm down...I'm going to be okay. Ryuzaki is going to help save me. L's my friend, right? I guess if there's any silver lining to this, it proves I'm not Kira, so that means we can actually be friends without that "might be Kira" thing._

He turned and saw Ryuzaki was staring at him as though trying to stare into his soul, probably trying to get a reading on Light's thought process. Light forced a smile, unable to stop how tired it was,

"Hey, Ryuzaki, I know it might be rude to ask, but can we not have Misa involved in the investigation and especially not knowing about my condition? I'm pretty sure dealing with her is going to kill me faster." He said this with forced sarcasm, and while everyone tensed, L noticed that Light was dead serious and not making a poorly timed joke. 

"That's an understandable request, but I doubt I can keep her away all the time." 

"Ibuprofen, it is." He held back a cough, trying to keep it at bay and not reveal just how awful he actually felt.

As the aforementioned cough forced its way out of his mouth painfully, Light fought back the tears, knowing he had to find Kira _fast_.


	3. Chapter 3

In the three days since Light had been released from confinement and began investigating, he was already miserably ill yet still stubborn as always.

"Light-Kun, your fever is 41.4 Celcius," L insisted as Light tried to force himself out of bed regardless of his dangerously high raging fever, which seemed to be getting even higher as each day passed, "I can bring you a computer to work in bed."

"I'm fine, damnit!" Light snapped, rolling himself off the bed and onto the floor, wincing at how heavy his entire body felt, almost like he was made of lead, yet jello at the same time. "The bed hurts my back." He rolled onto his stomach, stretching his aching lower back. But the prickly carpet was not a pleasant sensation, with a tank top and his boxers being the only clothes he wore without roasting.

"I can give you a massage if you wish," L offered, helping him up, and Light was almost ready to accept that offer when he felt a spasm of sharp pain in his abdomen, which had him doubling over, and leaning in Ryuzaki's grip. As if never being a comfortable temperature wasn't enough, now he had to worry about aches and pains, not to mention the humiliation of Ryuzaki deciding to carry him bridal style to the couch in the main room. The rest of the task force was watching him with pity as he struggled to swallow ibuprofen. 

"Are you feeling any better today, Light?" Light smiled a little at Matsuda,

"Nope. My fever has reached the point we should call a hospital, but not like that's going to do anything unless we catch Kira." These morbid words were said with forced cheer as he felt a chill down his spine, which was even more unpleasant with how little clothing he was wearing.

"Misa's been asking about you," Matsuda said softly, "I don't think we can hide from her what's happening for very long."

"I figured," Light turned on his side on the couch, trying to read the data in front of him, but found to his chagrin that he couldn't process what he was reading, and his vision was starting to blur. It made sense, of course, that Kira would ensure this illness prevented him from working. "Just say I caught something in confinement, and I don't want to infect her, and you guys didn't realize I was ill until it was too late, so if I would infect you, it's too late." Since this illness was created by Kira, they had all agreed it was unlikely it was contagious, but that didn't change the fact this was a reasonable excuse.

Matsuda went to tell her, and Light groaned as he began shivering from cold, but then he was back to overheating when he put a blanket over his shoulders. He could also feel the cold compress on his forehead was warm and needed to be replaced.

"All things considered," L pointed out, "For being on day six of Kira's death virus, Light-Kun is doing remarkably well."

"Why would you say that?!" Light turned to him before coughing, this time wet and coming from deep within his lungs, "That's what people say right before something terrible happens!"

"Do you really believe in that, Light-Kun?"

"I already feel like roadkill, and if I die in agonizing pain because of you, I will haunt your kitchen cabinets until the day you die."

"I don't think you're entirely lucid at this point." Light just groaned, before gasping softly as another stabbing pain struck his abdomen. But this time, it didn't go away, practically spreading as a burning feeling across his body. He tried to convince himself this was his brain being paranoid about what L had said, but he knew after another few moments writhing that it was not.

About five minutes later, Misa ran in, and Light's moaning got louder because, of course, she couldn't leave him alone. L called for Watari to get more tea and cold compress, as Misa bent down by Light's side, holding his hand,

"Oh, Light! Matsu told me you're sick! Don't worry, I'll be here with you every step of the way."

"Misa..." he panted, "We don't know if I'm contagious, please leave." 

"I don't care!" She held his hand tighter, "I'm not going to let you suffer alone."

"Misa-San, he's not alone," L insisted, "It would be best if you leave. After all, you still get to return to your normal life."

"But Light needs TLC to get better!"

"And the rest of us can give that." Ryuzaki's brow furrowed, seeing Light's expression change in the slightest as he felt another stabbing pain in his stomach and pelvis. "Light-Kun?" He got up, helping Light off the couch, "I think you need to lay down in bed, alright? I'll have Watari look you over."

Light looked up with narrowed eyes. He wanted to protest but then remembered being unable to process the data he was looking at, so honestly, at the moment, he wasn't much help. Maybe a little nap, and he'd be ready to get back to work saving his life.

But then it felt like a knife was being twisted into his stomach, and he didn't choke back the sounds that left his throat. It wasn't a scream; the sound wasn't pure enough for that but rather a guttural mixture of pain, anguish, and confusion. This wasn't happening to him, he wasn't dying from an illness given to him by Kira, he wasn't so helpless that his own broken voice echoed around the room, mocking him…

L continued to stare down at him as he gently placed Light on the large bed they had been sharing, though the customary finger was not in his mouth, and his usually bored face was tense. The silence was only broken by the worried sounds coming from the task force, and Light's breathy whimpers, which leaked out despite everything. L gazed at his face as if tracking his efforts.

"Light, what's happening?" Misa asked, rushing over and running her hands through his hair as he stared at her tiredly through half-lidded eyes. He found breath struggling to come in and not enough energy to tell anyone.

The task force had come over to the open door to see what was happening, with Aizawa lingering in the doorway with his head bowed, clearly still uncomfortable at the idea that if they didn't catch Kira, his daughter might share the same fate. Soichiro bent over Light's side, pouring some water into his mouth, which helped a little, feeling blessedly cool against his burning flesh. 

L made no move, as though he was calculating each motion to see what the problem was. But even if L did figure it out, there still wasn't anything he could do about it. L may have been a genius, rich, powerful, and entirely in control. However, Light doubted his material wealth and deductive abilities would have any effect on a supernatural illness hellbent on killing him slowly. How could L arrest something that wasn't a physical being, not something he could see or touch? Wasn't that limitation exactly why Light had been imprisoned after the Kira case had languished on for months?

L couldn't catch Kira. Light wanted to blame him somehow, accuse him, scream out his rage and pain at the silent detective, because what was happening to him stemmed from L working this case—whether handling the case or not was the right thing to do did not change that one simple fact. His actions or his inactions, his false accusation, or his perception of a deeper truth that even Light wasn't aware of.

While the second Kira was technically to blame, in a way, L was the cause.

But when Light gathered his breath to speak, it wasn't to sling bitter words of condemnation, but to whisper a plea.

"Please… It _hurts_ , and I can't… I can't… stop it."

The words were costly, but Light was too agonized and scared to put on haughty airs, wondering if this pain in his stomach was the illness finishing him off so soon. He'd thought he had more time, and such a thought brought tears to his eyes, praying he wasn't going to die this way. He turned on his side, curling into a ball to try making his abdomen stop hurting, only for his back to start acting up as the aching muscles were irritated by the motion. 

Light was brought out of his morbid thoughts of imminent death by Misa's obnoxiously loud and almost headache-inducing voice, talking to him. "Light... I'm so sorry," she ran her hands through hair, which was damp with sweat, as the pain grew far worse than he had ever dared to imagine and he had to bite down on a part of the blanket to keep from screaming, "Is there anything I can do? Anything at all?"

"Leave," Light growled out, "Everyone out!"

"Light," Soichiro tried, wondering if a father's words would be more effective in getting through to his ailing son, "You shouldn't be alone in your current state."

"'Zaki. I want 'Zaki."

"What?!" Misa shrieked, "You want _him_ and not your girlfriend?!" Ryuzaki gave a long-suffering sigh,

"Misa-San, it's because I share a bed with him, I am already the most likely to have caught this from him, so there is no harm in me staying with him now." Light wanted to say he didn't love her, and could she _please_ go away, but he found the idea of dealing with her too exhausting.

"If that's what you want..." For once, Misa left without complaint. "But I'm coming back with some ice packs and water." Damn. But she did leave, and once she was gone, Light whimpered, looking towards Ryuzaki, who looked unsure and uncomfortable.

"Please... Don't leave me. I—I don't want to be alone."

...

L couldn't believe this. Light let out a choked sob and buried his face in his shoulder the moment L had sat down next to him to try seeing where the evident pain was stemming from. He had never seen Light like this before.

 _What the hell?_ Light crying... this was really awkward. L gave him an uncomfortable, stiff hug, "Uh... there, there..." That was supposed to be comforting, right?

"Please don't leave me, Zaki," Light clung to him and sounded so sad, so pathetic... This all seemed so impossible, and the shortening of his alias just went to show how exhausted Light was if he couldn't even get the full name out.

"What's this about Light-Kun? You know I won't leave you," L held his friend close regardless of the heat coming off his sweaty skin.

"My stomach." He placed his hand on his abdomen, "Something's stabbing me." Huh? Watari's previous diagnosis had said pneumonia was what Light had, if not the closest they were going to find. And that had made sense since pneumonia was very dangerous, hospitalizing and killing thousands a year. But a stabbing feeling in his stomach? Was that normal? Or was this just another huge "fuck you" from Kira?

L twitched as Light's badly-muffled sobs suddenly morphed into unfettered howls of pain. The detective hesitated only a second longer before the gravity of the situation forced him into motion. 

...

Light barely noticed L's shift, too wrapped up in the agony of being repeatedly stabbed, and he jerked when L was suddenly leaning down over him, grabbing his shoulders in an attempt to gain his attention.

"Light-Kun, please, you need to talk to me. Where does it hurt? Show me." L simplified the question, his face finally betraying how concerned he was.

"L—it's…" Light groaned the words out, stammering between pants. But he couldn't finish, so he saw the best course of action was to grab L's hand and place it over the spot, forcing himself to try taking deep breaths before regretting that because it too caused pain. There was a small sense of relief that there was no pain from L's touch, meaning it was all internal, and he wasn't literally being stabbed.

"I'm sorry, Light-Kun, but I need to see. Please excuse me," L murmured, his face had gone completely blank once again as he forced Light's stiff body to lay flat on his back with his shirt off. Light wailed in indignation, mortified at the action as L slowly touched and prodded around his entire torso. But once he realized what L was doing, he was able to relax, hoping the detective could put his famed intelligence to use and figure out what was causing this—well, magic illness, but that for someone like Light, that was not an acceptable answer.

At some point, his vision began to blur as exhaustion was starting to claim him as the pain sucked him of every sap of energy he had left. Light's consciousness, his mind, whatever sentient part of him that allowed him to _feel_ , ebbed away from his body, away from the pain, away from the helplessness and honestly that sounded just fine even for a little bit. He would rather die in his sleep than experience this hell any longer.

_"Light, please stay with us!"_

Through the tiniest of cracks, he could see his father had come back, and L was screaming at someone on the phone, but it was hard to make out. Light found that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't move of his own accord anymore.

...

"Watari, his fever's too high!" L shouted with more fright than he would typically allow as Light began to slip away regardless of his father and Misa's pleas for him to stay alive. "What can I do to get his fever down?" He spun and saw Light was splayed out on the bed, chest heaving, and he had begun twitching, his eyes rolled back in his head, a rhythmic and rapid spasm contorting his body…

_"I'm almost there, L, just make sure he doesn't hurt himself. Don't let him pass out."_

"He's currently seizing."

 _"Shit."_ L's eyes widened, having never heard Watari curse before. But thankfully, the elderly man was there with some drip, and if L had to guess the medication was Acetaminophen. They timed it until Light finished seizing, making sure there was nothing he could hurt himself on. Thankfully he was remaining mostly stationary. 

Everything went in a blur for L for he didn't even know how long, grasping at straws for an answer on what to do, having never seen someone he cared about in such a state as this one—especially proud Light.

They pumped Light with every drug they had and could safely give him, and still, L had to watch his temperature climb, now 41.6. The room was cold with every window open to let in the chill wind of the summer evening. The world seemed to be on pause as Light took in shallow breathes, existing from moment to moment. L sighed, seeing that already he had lost weight, making the underweight boy even more so. Perhaps it was a sign of desperation that L had started to cling to any indication that he'd pull through. 

He gazed at the unconscious boy, hoping that he had escaped the pain in sleep.

 _Please hang on, Light,_ he pleaded in his head, _I'll catch Kira and save you. Just don't leave._


	4. Chapter 4

Light shivered where he lay in the bathtub, trying to reach towards the faucet to heat up the water. L watched him from where he had been reading _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ aloud since that had managed to help relax Light at night. The task force was searching for anything they could, at nearly 2am, but Light only trusted L to take care of him in his illness-induced delirium. 

He put the book down and stopped Light from touching the faucet, checking the water and seeing that it was warm but not overly so, "Light-Kun, we're trying to keep your fever down."

"Co—Cold..." L watched Light's struggle, eleven days of this torture depriving him of even the ability to sit up on his own anymore. He bit his lip, pulling Light out of the bathtub and wrapping him in a towel, checking his temperature. It had gone down a little, having been 42.2, and it was now 41.9. It wasn't much, but it was a start. 

He started slowly moving Light's lifeless limbs into his black boxers and a grey short-sleeved shirt, and then since he still shivered, he put an oversized and easily removable dark grey sweatshirt on Light too, picking him up. Loathing filled him by how he could feel Light's ribs very clearly pressing against his chest as he carried him. The fever was burning Light up, both in body and spirit.

He set Light on the bed, tucking him in, resting on his side, and hoping he'll be able to sleep peacefully through the night.

Not wanting to risk Light taking a sudden and unexpected turn for the worst with nobody to help him, he stayed in there, going through reports and data to find something useful that he could use to find Kira and save Light.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, there was still doubt that Light really had never been Kira, but then he looked to the frail young man struggling to stay alive, fever so high the chance of recovering without the second Kira undoing what had been done was slim.

In the rare moments that Light was aware and able to function, he still tried as hard as he could to help, even if he couldn't do much. But you know it's getting bad when even Misa is becoming a dedicated member of the task force, determined to help Light pull through. Though she still bitched about wanting a turn to take care of Light.

Currently, he was looking at a lead on Yotsuba, and he was going to ask Light about it when he woke up. Hopefully, a lead would give him the strength to fight this illness and win.

It was nauseating, how in less than two weeks, Light went from perfectly healthy to being frail and sickly, on the brink of death at every moment.

Before looking up to check on Light, he worked for a little bit until he heard noises of discomfort. It took a second to process what he was looking at, but once he did, he was up in an instant, helping Light turn over, as he had been bleeding from the nose onto his pillow. The flow was heavy, and it led L to wonder how this had even happened.

Light opened his eyes a bit, reaching for the tissues and grabbing one, trying to make the bleeding stop. L grabbed more tissues, sitting him up and helping him tilt his head back a little. Light coughed, whimpering quietly as L pinched the bridge of Light's nose to help the blood stop flowing. 

L pursed his lips, seeing the small sobs starting to come from Light, and ran his other hand through Light's hair to soothe him,

"Shhh, it's okay, I'm right here." He went to change the tissue, seeing this one was soaked through, and he tossed it into the trash can. He tried to remind himself that bloody noses could last for up to twenty minutes before being considered dangerous, but then he remembered how sick Light was.

Light started a few moments later, making odd noises as though struggling to breathe, and L was only able to react fast enough as Light fell off the bed. He dove and caught Light before he hurt himself, trying to see if Light was choking.

Light's eyes were wide and terrified as he, with great effort, rolled over and started to heave, tears spilling down his cheeks as he proceeded to vomit blood on the carpet. L mentally apologized to the housekeeper and put the garbage can under Light, holding his hair back and tracing figure-eights on his back to calm him as he continued to heave, blood clots and crimson liquid spilling from his mouth.

...

Light sobbed as he heaved over the garbage can again, his stomach muscles clenching painfully, and his throat burning as he got more blood out, yet his nose was still bleeding. Whether he was dizzy from blood loss or pain, he didn't know, everything was a blur. 

Choking on his own blood, unable to breathe through his own lifeblood and the pus in his lungs fighting against him, he felt a spike of terror. Was that what dying was like?

He knew crying was doing him no favors as he continued to bleed into the trash can, and getting stuffed up just made it harder to breathe, but he couldn't stop himself as the bleeding reduced to a trickle, and he nearly passed out into his own sick and blood.

He knew he looked like a wreck, Misa had commented as such, and at this point, he had not a shred of dignity left where Ryuzaki was concerned. Through half-lidded eyes, he realized the detective had picked him up bridal style again and was carrying him into the bathroom, probably so he could get cleaned up. He felt aching in his lower back again, and his lungs burned.

L was on the phone again with someone, and then helping Light get cleaned up, using a washcloth with warm water to clean the blood off his face and chest and wipe away the sweat that had begun to form on his forehead.

Light knew his skin was scorching, but he felt far too cold, especially with the chill of the tile against his practically bare legs. He leaned in, resting his head on Ryuzaki's shoulder and clinging to him. It was exhausting to cry, and yet he couldn't stop himself.

"'Zaki," he wept, "I don't wanna die, please don't let me go... it hurts so much, just make it stop..." 

...

L froze with Light holding onto him with his terrified pleas. He thought back to what Watari said about putting Light in a medically-induced coma, as the fever was so high that it could cause brain damage, and Light was in so much pain. L had to admit that it would give him more time on the case, but he also didn't want to risk Light getting worse and not able to tell anyone.

But if Light died in a coma, he hopefully wouldn't feel any pain. 

Watari was supposed to bring up the idea to Mr. Yagami in the morning, and they would see how that talk went and what the best course of action was.

But for now, he felt like something was twisting his organs as he heard Light cry, begging for an end to this illness. Kira was a cruel person to put someone through this. And Light was so young... L sometimes forgot that Light was still a teenager—sure, in most parts of the world, he counted as an adult, but in Japan, he should be just learning to drive at eighteen, not fighting for his life against a deadly illness.

"I'm not going to let you die, Light-Kun," he assured, scooping him back up after changing his shirt. Light clung to his neck, as though trying to have as much contact with another human being as possible. He saw Watari had changed the blood-stained sheets, and he got Light under the lightweight sheets after putting another cold compress on his forehead. But he realized Light's arms were still around his neck,

"Please don't leave," Light looked up, "I'm scared."

Light Yagami admitting to being scared? L knew full well that Light had every right to be, but he never had in a million years expected to hear it.

"I need to work on the case, Light-Kun," he tried, "To help save you."

Light looked at him still, trying to speak, but his words were jumbled and sounded like gibberish, as though his energy and ability to form a coherent sentence was gone. After a moment, he realized Light was saying, "You need sleep." 

L supposed that Light was correct, and having a clear head with rest would help the case in the long run, "Alright, Light-Kun," he kicked off his jeans, remaining in his boxers, "I'll stay." 

He laid down and ended up staring at the ceiling and listening to Light's wet breaths through the oxygen mask. At least Light had fallen asleep quickly, but L noticed that Light was clinging to his hand now, and didn't seem to have any plans of letting go.

He sighed, feeling as though he was wasting precious time laying there, but Light also needed sleep if he wanted to stand a chance against this illness, so if this was what it took...

Maybe he could get Light's father in here...? After all, the chief was ready at a moment's notice to retrieve anything his ailing son needed or wanted. But for some reason, Light seemed to only trust L, and for the life of him, L could not think of a reason why.

 _He must be delirious,_ L decided. _Still, if I get up and leave, I might wake him up, and hearing him cry is... wrong._

Deciding that Light's sleep was more important, L stared at the ceiling and thought about the case for about an hour before the stress and exhaustion finally overcame him, and he fell into a restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, vomiting up blood, it's a miserable thing, and I speak from experience.


	5. Chapter 5

After paying even more people to work on construction to get things done faster, the workers finally completed the new headquarters, a month and a half ahead of schedule, so they could move out of the hotel, and thus had more room for people to care for Light.

Light was asleep in Soichiro's arms, wrapped in a blanket to keep him protected, and L quickly walked in alongside father and son, eager to test the new treatment—Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy. 

Light took deep breaths, coughing and leaning in closer to Soichiro, his arms hanging limply around his father's neck, where he had been holding on before but had since borderline passed out. L had planned to carry him, but found that it was challenging to carry Light for a long time, and when Light would suddenly jolt out of nowhere. It was better for his father to carry him.

The special chamber was ready, looking almost like a glass coffin from fairy tales, albeit more spacious, and Light was laid down as the chamber was closed and the treatment began. L knew they had to wait two hours for the procedure to be done for now, and Light was already sleeping seemingly peacefully. L sighed, looking through the glass at Light's form.

He lay there so still as his skin radiated heat, and his naturally tan skin glowed in the worst way, and his limbs fell limply whenever someone raised them. They were on day seventeen, and L wasn't sure whether any of them could handle this anymore.

He looked over the new information and new theories that he had after talking with Light yesterday—one of Light's good days. It had been decided that this was someone at Yotsuba trying to get promoted—or perhaps an executive searching to have control of all of Yotsuba. Because of this, he had already called Wedy to install cameras and wiretaps around the entire building to learn new information.

"Ryuzaki," L turned and saw Soichiro tearing at his hair and watching Light in the chamber, "I have shown hesitation with your methods in the past—but now, I don't care what you have to do. Just save my son."

"I'm glad to have your permission. However, as much as I want to arrest every single suspect and torture them for information, we do not know if Kira is working for or merely supporting Yotsuba, and it could make him suspect our goal. As much as I hate to admit it, we have to wait for Wedy to finish."

"So much waiting," Soichiro growled, "And not enough time saving Light!"

"It's been seventeen days, Yagami-San, since Light fell ill. I am working as quickly as I can while actually making a change. Once we have a definite suspect, we can send Misa in since anyone of high status would be able to learn she had been confined for a time."

Soichiro nodded, gazing at his sleeping child, "Right." 

They waited two hours, working together to try narrowing the list of suspects until Light's treatment was done, and he was carried to his new room, with an IV injected in and an oxygen mask over his mouth. Light opened his eyes,

"Hey, Dad... where's Zaki?" L came over, sitting at the foot of the bed,

"I'm right here. I've heard these treatments make you hungry. Do you want anything to eat?"

"Hm?" Light's eyelids began to droop, "Can I just have some rice?" L called Watari to retrieve that, and L was surprised when Light spoke again, "Zaki, there's something I want to do..."

"Yes? What is it?" Light smiled a little,

"I want to go to the festival."

Japan had a lot of festivals, so this particular request didn't make much sense, but Soichiro seemed to understand, "Hm?"

"The river festival." Light tried to explain, but his words were becoming slurred again.

"The Sumida River Fireworks Festival." Soichiro explained, "As a family, we go every year. It's July 11th from 7-8:30pm. That's where Light wants to go."

July 11th? Alright, hopefully, they could capture Kira by then. He clutched Light's clammy hand,

"That's sixteen days, Light-Kun. You're going to need to fight for another sixteen days, and I'll do everything I can to make sure you can go."

"Thanks, Zaki." Light grinned, and L's heart warmed a bit, seeing that Light could still smile in the state he was in.

They both turned when they heard Watari come in with a bowl of rice and a bottle of new pills.

"The new order of Amoxicilim has arrived for Light to take," Watari said, "I suggest eating the rice first." 

"Thank you, Watari." Light said, sitting up a bit. Soichiro relaxed,

"Are you feeling better, Light?"

"It's easier to breathe now—I call that a success." He pulled his blanket around him, "I feel a bit better, but it kind of goes in waves lately." He tried to reach for the spoon, but his hands were too shaky to pick it up. L took the spoon, holding it up for Light, who looked away with embarrassment, but eventually gave in and allowed himself to be spoonfed. Soichiro sighed, getting up to see what the rest of the task force could find.

Light opened his mouth for the food, taking a little longer than average to swallow, and the cycle repeated, and L waited patiently, before grabbing the glass of water and the pills, helping Light take them and resting him back down.

"Are you hot or cold right now?" He asked, and Light gestured to the blanket wrapped around him with a deadpan look, making it clear he was freezing again. "I'll bring you some blankets." L got up and walked to the storage closet just outside the bedroom and grabbing more blankets, coming in to find Light retching into a bucket. He sighed, approaching his friend and holding his sweat-soaked hair back and tracing soothing figure eights on his too-hot back.

He hesitated. Did this mean that Light needed to take more medicine? Was it still in his system? Would receiving more just to be safe hurt him? He didn't know. But what he did know was that Light, as L was cleaning off his mouth, had curled up near L, using his lap as a pillow and staring up at him.

"L," he was caught off guard by his actual name being used, and Light's facade of a smile had fallen, revealing the pain he was experiencing, "I know Dad is determined to save me—but it hurts so much... I don't know if I can—" he turned slightly, leaning closer to L, "Promise me something, please... that I won't die alone. I've been alone for so long... I don't want to—"

It was such a morbidly innocent request, and L felt actual tears start falling down his cheeks as he processed those words and Light's insistence in the last two weeks that he would be okay was fading. 

But still, who was he to refuse such a request, no matter how uncomfortable it was—and the pain it brought him for reasons unknown, "I promise, Light-Kun. If it comes to that, I'll be by your side the whole time."

Light smiled, and L pulled him close, recalling an old song he had known for years. To this day, he didn't know where he knew it—probably the orphanage, but he remembered the words, pulling Light close and beginning to softly sing, his voice cracking a little bit on some notes, as he suppressed a sob,

_"You've fought so bravely, my dear._

_And so you can rest, for now, there's nothing left to fear._

_Fighting onward, you dreamed unreachable things._

_But now your dreams carry you_

_To a place where these things come true_

_I'll hold your hand while you sleep._

_So don't be afraid, I won't let shadows touch your dreams._

_Maybe in time, we'll leave this all behind._

_We'll look up skyward, and the stars, they will shine in your eyes._

_Promise, you'll wake up in time._

_When you awaken, I will be there by your side._

_There's a person, he'll fix the broken mistakes._

_I'll find him and journey on,_

_I will save you, whatever it takes."_

Light was asleep when L looked down, keeping his vow and sitting in bed with Light, working on his laptop with one hand and holding Light's with the other as he slumbered. But because Light had fallen asleep, he didn't hear the final lyric.

_"No matter the fate I may face."_


	6. Chapter 6

L held the tape in his hands, unable to believe that he had gone through with making it—the message saying he was dropping the Kira case.

It was as a last resort, of course, but as they were on day twenty-two, and had resorted to putting Light in a medically induced coma for a couple days to relieve him of his pain for a little while. They'd needed to wake him three days later because he had nearly choked on his own blood, which he had started coughing up even more frequently.

He shook his head a little as he stared at the small thing which disgusted him, but might be Light's only hope.

Why was he so uncomfortable about Light's condition and determined to help him? Was it because confining Light had put him in this mess, giving the Second Kira an opening? No... it probably would have happened anyway since this was the Second Kira.

He had promised Near and Mello that he would capture and execute Kira, and yet he was ready to throw that vow away for the sake of someone he hadn't even known for very long?

Maybe it was because Light was still very young and had his whole life ahead of him—he didn't deserve to die as collateral damage.

He could care less about what this would do to his reputation, even though he had specified the reason was a threat to those close to him, which was understandable. The world was ruthless. And he didn't actually care about justice either, even though the over five-hundred murders daily between both Kiras was vile in L's eyes. He knew he was no saint, but the rate of Kira's kills had doubled in the last twenty-two days. 

In the first _six_ months, Kira killed a little under twelve thousand people, but now that same number of people died in less than _one_ month. This made it clear to L that either the Second Kira was even more of a monster than expected and had just stopped waiting for Kira's orders, or there were new Kiras altogether. There was, of course, no way of knowing until they captured the first Kira.

He had humored the idea that Light was still the original, and this was the Second and a Third Kira. However, that was more him refusing to be wrong, and since the Second Kira had claimed to have found the first, why would he—or, L supposed, it could be she—torture Light like this? So that theory, while possible, was so low that there was no point in even bringing it up, especially given Light's condition. 

"What's that?" L turned towards Matsuda, 

"This is a tape saying I'm dropping the case. I don't plan on using it unless as a last resort, but I figured I should make it just in case."

"What?!" Everyone yelled, unable to believe L was even considering doing this. L just sighed,

"I don't want to do it either, but..." he couldn't think of the next words to say, "Besides, it's the last resort." He got up, "I should check on Light-Kun."

He knew Misa had been insisting on taking care of Light today, and he figured that someone should save poor Light from that. 

When he entered the room, Misa was rabbiting on about the movie she was going to be in, but she was going to forcibly remove any romance scenes because she was loyal to Light, and after he got better, they were going to get married and start a family and all that nonsense.

That was the thing that infuriated L about Misa. She claimed to love Light, but the only reason she had been helping the case at all was, in her mind, Light would have to love her if she helped save him. It was beyond frustrating to put up with this girl and her delusions, which took more time away from the case.

Light looked to L, his expression brightening a bit even though he still looked miserable, and writing down something on a notepad—meaning that he had probably coughed to the point it was agonizing to talk.

_"Pull the plug."_

"Misa-San," L said, sighing at the note, "I think it's time you go with Matsuda for a bit, and I will keep an eye on Light-Kun and let him have a bath." 

"But _I_ want to bathe Light!" Misa whined, but L gave her a dark look, and she shrunk down, kissing Light's forehead, "I love you, Light! I'll be back to check on you soon." She left, and L grabbed a bottle of water, helping Light drink.

"Thanks," Light rasped, suddenly beginning to cough, so L had to help him sit up and give him the bucket until he eventually expelled both brown phlegm and blood. 

"Is today at least a less bad day?" Light shrugged a little, gesturing for more water before speaking,

"I always feel better when Misa isn't around."

"Yeah. Do you need hot steam to get more of the crap out of your throat?" Light nodded, and L helped him to the bathroom and into the tub, rechecking his temperature and being dismayed by how high it was. He still remembered Light's cries when they had put him under, thinking it was lethal injection, and L had needed to cradle him the whole time until eventually, he fell still.

He would never tell Light he had stayed by his side all three of those days, working in silence and making sure there would be no unexpected turn for the worst. 

Almost as soon as the steam from the bath picked up, Light was asleep, and L observed him the whole time, making sure he didn't accidentally dunk himself.

Without thinking, he found himself stroking Light's burning cheek, reflecting back on the tape and how Light's life depended purely on his own choices. They believed capturing the original Kira and using him as a bargaining chip would work, but what if it didn't? The only thing they _knew_ would save Light was L giving up on this case. 

He wanted to ask what Light thought about this—if his resolve had chipped away just as the task force's had started to. Would he still put the case above all else?

And if so, would L have it in him to respect Light's wishes and watch him waste away more than he already had?

Just the idea of Light dying like this brought uncomfortable knots to his stomach that he didn't know how to identify, which had led to nausea multiple times now. He had asked Watari about it, and if he was getting sick too, but Watari had just chuckled, assuring him that he wasn't ill, but also not explaining what the issue was. 

L waited an hour before hoisting Light out of the bath, which jostled the young man awake for a moment before he drifted back to sleep, the exhaustion of putting up with Misa—who had doubtfully let him sleep—weighing him down.

Shit. Misa probably also hadn't given Light his treatment or his meds. Perhaps he thought little of her, but the last time they had left her alone with Light, he hadn't gotten any of his medications and had had another seizure.

He quickly put an oversized shirt and boxers on Light, carrying him to the chamber and laying him down.

"Sleep well, Light," he whispered, brushing back Light's sweat-soaked bangs, "I hope you'll feel better when you wake up."

OoOoO

"Ryuzaki!" 

L whipped around as Matsuda sprinted in, clearly panicked. Everyone in the room knew that this couldn't be good and jumped up, Soichiro grabbing Matsuda's shoulders and shaking him,

"Light! Is he alright?!" 

"He—He—He asked for some water, and I went to grab some, and I came back, and he was collapsed on the ground—he wasn't breathing!" 

L didn't even hear anything else, running as fast as his legs could carry him down the hallways only lit in the moon's pale glow, seeing Watari had Light situated on the bed again, shaking his head.

"Watari...?" L whispered, rushing over to Light's side and seeing the flush had faded a bit, replaced with deathly pale.

"I'm sorry, Ryuzaki," Watari said, looking down at Light, "There's nothing I can do."

Soichiro was the next in the room, his knees buckling at the foot of Light's bed, "How long—How long does he...?"

Watari hesitated, "An hour, maybe less."

It was like L's whole world began to crumble, grey eyes glassy with tears, before he felt icy rage course through his veins, knowing that he wanted Kira's head for this. He clenched his fists, knowing it wasn't too late, he still could—it looked like the last resort was needed.

He moved to leave, shocked when someone grabbed him, and he saw it was Light. 

"You promised," was the broken whisper which came from Light, and L cringed as he remembered that vow he had reluctantly made, to be by Light's side and not let him be alone as he died.

"Light, I can save you, I need to get the tape out and—"

Light's lip quivered a bit, "You promised." 

L gazed down at Light, seeing that fear in his eyes, before he gave in, sitting down on the large bed and pulling Light close, knowing deep down that if Light really had so little time, the tape or even a personal announcement would get out too late. He had hesitated, and now it was too late.

Most of the task force left after a little while, even the most atheistic of them praying to any deity that would listen to spare Light's life. Nobody went to tell Misa what was happening, knowing that Light deserved some peace in his final moments. 

Soichiro stayed, and L knew that was the only thing stopping him from flying apart, holding Light close and humming quietly, drowning in his own failure. He had said he was going to save Light, but it was too late. He had failed, and Light was going to die. 

"I need you," he whispered, beginning to sob, "Please... don't leave me."

He didn't know how long he stayed in the dark room, with the moonlight glowing against Light's increasingly pale skin as his breathing got weaker, holding his dying friend.

"Un, Deux, Trois, Quatre, Cinq, Six, Sept, Huit, Neuf," he said melodically as he heard a quiet whimper from Light, to distract him from what was happening. 

"...Cinq, Six, Sept, Huit, Neuf," he looked down to where Light had replied softly, and he nodded,

"Good. Un, Deux, Trois, Quatre, Cinq, Six, Sept, Huit, Neuf," 

Light followed along, but then suddenly stopped at seven.

He looked down at Light, who was far too still, no longer breathing, "Sept, Huit, Neuf..." he whispered, unable to process this, "Sept, Huit..."

He forced himself to look up at Soichiro, who, judging by his expression, had gone into some form of shock. 

"He's gone," L choked out as calm as he could to alert Light's father what had happened before something between a wail and a scream tore out of his throat, the realization striking him that Light had just died in his arms.

Light Yagami had been breathing and alive moments ago, and now he wasn't. This was surreal, this couldn't be happening. 

He didn't notice the others run in, but suddenly Mogi was pulling L away from the body as L shrieked at the top of his lungs for Watari to _"Do something!"_ because surely there was something that could be done.

Watari knew it was a lost cause, but he used the AED anyway to start Light's heart up again, but he didn't expect as he hooked Light up to the heart monitor again for there to be any change as the AED was used once again.

That is until Light's heart _did_ start beating again.

There was no dramatic awakening of Light, but he did start coughing a little and fell back asleep. L stared, slowly coming off the horror high and trying to process what was in front of him, his whole body trembling mercilessly. 

After a few moments, Soichiro came to, "He's alive..." he breathed, laughing a little out of sheer relief, "Oh thank god, he's alive..."

Watari checked Light's temperature, eyes wide, "I think I figured out why his heart gave out... his fever's broken."

"Really?" L looked down at Light, all that despair suddenly replaced with joy. Light's fever was really broken? Had the Second Kira let him go? Why? Had the original Kira found out about what was happening and put his foot down that this was too cruel?

He checked Light's forehead. Still warm, but noticeably less so. 

This didn't mean he wasn't going to be staying by Light's side until he woke. If anyone was going to be thrilled, it was going to be Light.

Maybe everything would be okay, after all.

However, none of them knew this was all part of Kira's plan, erasing his name the first time after twenty-three days, and beginning the cycle anew.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the numbers last chapter were a Hamilton reference. Why? Because I wanted to see how many people would react to it. The results were satisfying. 
> 
> And now, back to ruining Light's life for the umpteenth time!

L hummed quietly, seeing Light working gleefully with them on the case. It had been two days. While he wasn't completely recovered from the strain his body had been under and was still far too underweight, it was certainly a start as he could function and only needed occasional assistance while walking. And he actually had an appetite.

Saying Light had been thrilled upon hearing his fever had broken was the understatement of the century. The two of them had ended up in a long embrace as Light cried from sheer joy and relief. Things had just improved from there.

He looked over, hearing Light cough, "Light-Kun?" Light smiled a bit, but it didn't reach his eyes,

"It's just a lingering cough and some nerves, you know?" He chuckled a bit, but it wasn't convincing at all, and L felt knots of dread in his stomach as Watari came in,

"We have another tape from the Second Kira." He said, clearly upset, "Nobody is going to like it."

L played the recording on his laptop, already pale face becoming even more so as he listened to what was being said.

_"Kira, I cannot stand by anymore when the task force is closer to finding you. I need to begin the process again, as I'm sure Light Yagami's illness at my hand had them at their breaking point. Please forgive me, but I must do what needs to be done for a better world of peace."_

It began to ramble on about worshipping Kira and such, but L had tuned that out. Hell, everyone had, slowly looking at Light, who was swaying dangerously and trembling.

L grabbed the tape he had made days ago, growling, but Light put a hand on L's, still shaking as tears started forming in his eyes.

"It's... okay." He tried, "We can still sa-save my life by capturing the original, right? At least we know the first Kira isn't a monster...right?" His words got meeker as he spoke, and it was around this time, L noticed the beginnings of abnormal heat from Light's skin once again.

"Light..." Soichiro helped Light up, "I'm going to get you back to your room, okay? We got Misa out of headquarters for the time being to work on her movie, so you can rest." 

"I want to help," Light pleaded, and L forced his expression to be as emotionless as usual, getting up and pulling Light close,

"And you can help, but for now, I suggest sleeping in the chamber for a bit. Maybe if we catch it soon enough, we can make the process less painful, so we can work together to catch Kira, and we're mostly just watching the cameras in the Yotsuba building right now, so you can join us again once you're done."

Light looked down at the floor, biting his bottom lip before finally giving in, "Okay... okay..."

L watched Light leave with his father, and he could feel the rage radiating off the rest of the task force,

"This is just cruel," Aizawa seethed, "If you ask me, the Second Kira is just a psychopath using love for Kira as an excuse for this." Mogi nodded, crossing his arms,

"But that suggests that perhaps the Second Kira has a vendetta for Light personally. Why would somebody hate Light enough to do this to him?"

"That is a good point," L mused, trying to detach himself from the situation, and that night Light almost died in his arms, which had prevented him from even trying to sleep. "My initial theory on the matter was that since the Second Kira claimed to have found the first right after Light and Matsuda went to Aoyama to investigate, that might have been the moment Light was realized as a target. Even if Light wasn't on the task force, he is well-known and loved and has a history of working with the NPA on cases, so it would make sense for the Second Kira to assume Light is on the task force."

"But wouldn't that mean Matsuda should be keeling over from pneumonia too?" Aizawa asked, and L realized that the final officer was currently with Misa and thus didn't know about this. He nodded just a bit, running his hand through his hair,

"That's what I thought, but the first tape mentioned the Second Kira knew Light was being detained as a suspect. How could the Second Kira have known that? I suppose it could be one of you since Kira has proven to be able to get his hands on private information, but I've been observing all of you for a long time and have deduced that this isn't something any of you would do—especially not to Light. But..." he looked to Watari, "Let Sakura TV broadcast this tape."

"What?! Why?" Aizawa asked, and L smirked a bit,

"While the first tape we received was not viewed by the public since it revealed Light was locked up, this second tape is the second time that Kira's orders to the second Kira have been disobeyed. They have met and talked in private. However, given Light's popularity and this repeated disregard for even Kira's limits... I think we can turn the two Kiras against each other, and perhaps cause one of them to slip and reveal themselves."

"But Kira never responded to any of the other tapes," Mogi pointed out, "Why would he now?"

"Because the second Kira has from the beginning been causing support for Kira to plummet. With the second Kira going after probably the most beloved person in the city for seemingly no reason, that would make Kira nervous for it to get out. He will likely try to explain the situation, and want the second Kira gone just as much as the rest of us do." 

"That actually makes sense," Aizawa looked back to the door, "I hope we can catch one or both of the Kiras soon because I don't think I can watch Light get sick all over again.

L brought his thumb to his mouth and bit it. Hard. Light's fever. Harder. Watching him in agonizing pain. _Harder_. Light dying. Blood and the sickening taste of copper and plasma. Quickly, he pulled back his hand and inspected it. The wound was tiny and had already stopped bleeding. It was not worth any attention.

Not like Light. Light was always worth his attention. 

L was childish and hated to lose. And all the odds were stacked in a way that it was likely he would have to willingly lose if he wanted to save Light's life. 

But... would that be losing? Sure, it would be giving up to Kira, but he would be saving his friend's life. He thought about life before meeting the young man. He remembered the friend years ago that he had lost to betrayal—often leading him to believe their friendship had been a lie. 

Would he be losing if he surrendered? Or would letting Light die be the biggest loss of all?

...

As soon as he had left the main room with his father, Light's knees gave out under him in the hallway, hugging himself and beginning to sob, clinging to his worried father.

"I—I can't, Dad..." he stammered, "I can't do this again. I can't..."

His Dad held him gently, trying to soothe him, but even he was on the brink of breaking as all the hope of the last two days blew up in his face, "I know. But..." he hesitated, "I'm sure Ryuzaki will think of something. And if he doesn't, I will do whatever it takes, Light." He pulled him close, "I promise."

Light leaned into the embrace. He had prayed that the aches he had been feeling were just his body trying to recover, and the cough was just a lingering one. Part of him had known what was happening, but he had tried to convince himself that it was just paranoia. 

To go through this again... he knew Ryuzaki was on the brink of dropping the case, and Light would never forgive himself if that happened.

What could he do to escape this pain and make sure Ryuzaki still took the case? A thought came to him, and it just made him cry harder in his Dad's arms. He knew all of this had been putting a strain on his Dad too, which was why he didn't want the poor man around him very often to watch this happen, especially given his Dad's heart attack a few months ago from stress.

"Come on..." his Dad rasped, carrying him into the room with his chamber, "Just... try and get some rest." 

Light looked through the glass, seeing his Dad had stayed, and he forced a small smile, which contrasted the puffy eyes, and the tears still falling down his face. He did appreciate having people here for him during all of this—he didn't want to be alone.

Sleep came within minutes despite the turmoil in his mind. Whether this was a blessing or a curse, Light didn't know anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

L grinned as he saw his plan was already working wonders. The entire city was in outrage hearing what had happened to Light, and for the first time, the real original Kira had replied to the tape, with all the expected grace and fury that L had envisioned his rival to be.

He beamed as he checked online, people trying to find Light and help him, and riots demanding that the Second Kira be served justice—even die-hard Kira worshippers were against the Second Kira, who was now just called a psychopath.

"Everything is going according to plan," L muttered, enjoying the chaos far more than he typically would let himself dare. Part of him wondered if he could ally with the original to take down the Second Kira but then shook that idea off as the stress of Light's situation made him delusional.

Speaking of Light...

"Watari, what is your update on Light?"

Watari sighed, "He won't eat or take his meds."

The thought brought knots in L's stomach, and he dully noticed Matsuda storm out of the room, followed by Aizawa. Soichiro cleared his throat,

"Ryuzaki, maybe you should talk to him. He trusts you over everyone else."

"I don't know why," L muttered, "Before this happened, I had been planning to lock him up until he revealed himself as Kira, and look how well that would have gone." He turned, "Yagami-San, why does Light-Kun trust me?"

Soichiro smiled a little bit, and there was a twinkle of amusement in his eyes, but it was gone so fast that L wasn't sure if he had imagined it or not, "It's not every day he finds somebody who can keep up with what goes on in his head. I wouldn't be surprised if he just thinks everyone else is an idiot."

That made sense, but it did mean that he had to make sure Light was cared for, so he got up to go check, and he frowned, seeing Matsuda and Aizawa talking in the hallway, but decided to ignore it.

...

"Matsuda!" Aizawa called as Matsuda was waiting for the elevator to come up, "What are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing?" Matsuda growled, "I'm going to Yotsuba, and I'm going to get some damn answers. The sooner we find Kira, the sooner we can save Light." 

"That's insane," Aizawa snapped, grabbing Matsuda's shoulders and shaking him, "You're just going to get yourself killed assuming you even get in there to begin with. Why would you risk your life like that? We already have the cameras and wiretaps installed."

"If it was Yumi laying in that room fighting for her life and wasting away," Matsuda said slowly, "Would you stop me?"

A beat, because both of them knew that while Aizawa wanted to say that yes, he would still stop him, the real answer was, "No. I would go with you."

Matsuda nodded, "I thought so. Cover for me, okay?" He entered the elevator, "Hey, you can say 'I told you so' if I die." And then he was gone, leaving Aizawa alone in the hallway, sighing as he entered the main room again, looking to Watari,

"Matsuda's doing something stupid, but I honestly don't think any of us will stop him unless he ends up in serious trouble."

Watari sighed, "How did we get to this point?"

"I don't know," Mogi replied, "But we should probably plan a way to save him just in case. Thankfully he's going after the original, so we shouldn't have to worry about..."

Everyone shuddered but were stopped from talking by the sound of a scream from down the hall. 

...

L had taken a quick detour to grab some broth for Light, but looking at the sight before him, he regretted it profusely, seeing what Light had done.

Light was slumped on the floor, a belt tightened around his neck.

Snapping out of his shock, L ran over to the next room, grabbed a pocket knife and racing back, with as much care, cutting the belt off Light's neck and checking for a pulse.

"Don't you dare, Light," he growled mostly to himself, and Watari and Soichiro ran in, and Soichiro bent down beside his son, yet another tray of food was now discarded on the floor,

"What happened?!"

"I think..." L couldn't say it, what it was apparent Light had tried to do. Given what Light was going through, L couldn't blame him for considering this, but the thought made him all too aware of the tape he could still use. 

"I'll need help getting him on the bed," Watari said to Soichiro, wrapping a blanket around L's shoulders, "To make sure there is no extra damage to Light's windpipe."

L looked up absently, his entire lithe frame shaking. "What—What were you and Matsuda talking about?" Aizawa helped him stand,

"He decided to confront Yotsuba on his own... I didn't stop him. In hindsight, that was a terrible idea."

"Matsuda, you idiot," L muttered, needing a little support to stand as Watari ushered everybody except Soichiro out to take care of Light, "What's he going to do?"

"I don't know, and honestly, I'm fine with him taking the initiative as long as he's careful," Mogi sat down on the couch in the main room, "We're all at the end of our wire. He's going after the original, and our theories are that the Second Kira killed all the police officers and FBI agents, so he should be safe."

"Yes," L sat in a plush chair, not in his regular squat, and he looked down at his legs. _I've lost 80% of my deductive reasoning. I should probably make a plan to help Matsuda._

The image of Light on the floor flashed in his head, followed by that night days ago when he almost died from his illness. L put his head in his hands, rage coursing through his veins at the Second Kira for doing this and hurting Light.

"Mogi, get Misa and let her know we may need her help regarding Matsuda," he mumbled, "And distract her, so she doesn't know about what happened. Light-Kun needs peace."

He forced himself to get up and grabbed the tape again, bowing his head as he looked at it, "If Matsuda doesn't succeed... I'm dropping the case."

"What?!" Aizawa and Mogi look at him with shock on their faces, and L turned.

"Or perhaps I should rephrase. The original Kira isn't my concern, as there is a greater evil out there. But if the Second Kira's goal is for me to not bother the first, I can comply with that if it means Light won't..." He refused to humor the idea that Light would have succeeded in what he tried to do earlier. It just wasn't something he would accept, so it was best to pretend everything would be okay.

L leaned against the desk, realizing just how _tired_ he was. It made his entire body so heavy that he couldn't get up from the desk chair he had fallen onto when his legs gave out underneath him. He was still awake, but the idea of moving was exhausting.

At some point, his body had forced him to drift into the hellscape of his mind, where the image waiting for him was Light crying in pain as he slowly died in L's arms. 

"This is your fault," L turned and saw a shadowy figure with a red tint to him. The voice was almost like it was coming from a radio, scrambled by a voice distorter but still identifiable as male, "I may have been unable to stop this, but you were able to leave me alone, and look what your selfishness has done." Two fingers under his chin jerking his face to meet the demonic image of Kira's, and L sneered, holding Light's weakening form in his arms protectively,

"You're a monster." He seethed, "If you care so much, kill the Second Kira."

Kira chuckled maliciously, glowing red eyes meeting L's, which he realized in the reflection from the window were blue, "It takes one to know one, doesn't it, Lawliet?"

L's eyes widened, "How did you...?"

"Does it matter?" The image of Kira suddenly had a wide and menacing smile, almost as though taunting L's determination, "You're never going to catch me. It will just be a wild goose chase over and over as you watch all that's dear to you be snatched away. Just give up now."

L sneered, "And what if I don't?" Kira just gave an odd little giggle, bending down to L's ear, so close that the monster's lips were almost touching, and L could feel the hot breath against his neck,

"You've been warned."

L was jolted awake by a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Watari was staring down at him, "Ryuzaki, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," L replied, rubbing his eyes, "How's Light-Kun? Is he...?"

"There was no severe extra damage," Watari replied, "But added onto his illness, he's needed another two hours in the chamber to be able to breathe normally. He's awake, but not talking—I believe it's a conscious choice on his part, but I don't know for sure."

L looked around, realizing he was on the couch when he had distinctly not been before, "Where is everybody?"

"They're working on jobs I have assigned for them, and Mogi brought you over to the couch upon realizing you had fallen asleep." Watari placed a hand on L's forehead, sighing, and L got up, only for his legs to give out under him again,

"I need to... Matsuda's out there... and Light... why did he...?

"L," there was a sudden sternness in Watari's voice as he helped L off the ground, "You are wearing yourself into the ground, and that is exactly what Kira wants. You are exhausted to the point you're running a low fever, so you can go see Light, and then you are going to _bed_."

"What about Matsuda? He's been gone for a while."

"I checked the cameras and wiretaps. Matsuda is fine."

L's mind was whirling, thinking about his nightmare about Kira knowing his name, and now Watari saying he was feverish. It was just a coincidence, right? There was no way Kira could actually know his name... right?

He shook himself. Of course it was just his paranoid mind talking. There was less than a 3% chance Kira had even gotten the opportunity to see his name and put it together. Unless, of course, Light or Misa was Kira, but neither had the chance to successfully accomplish anything.

Speaking of Light, L forced himself upright to walk into Light's room, seeing Soichiro sitting bedside with a sleeping Light, holding his son's hand. Already there were marks on Light's neck like a band, which L knew was going to leave bruises, and there was a small cut on the side of his neck where L had cut off the belt. 

Upon further inspection, he noticed that Light wasn't actually sleeping. He was just pretending. L sighed, knowing the only reason there hadn't been severe and irreversible damage was probably that the illness had robbed him of the strength to get the belt tight enough, but that didn't change how close they had come to losing him.

Without really thinking, L crawled into bed with Light, holding Light's hand and using a free hand to brush back Light's bangs, "You scared me," he whispered, and Light opened his eyes.

...

It had been unbearable, waking up in the morning and feeling that stabbing pain in his stomach, which had him practically paralyzed. The sinking realization that this was the beginning of more long days of uselessness and pain, watching those he loved so dearly coming so close to breaking down.

He knew Ryuzaki was on the brink of dropping the case, and Light also was fully aware he would never forgive himself if he was the catalyst for the world ending.

He didn't want to die—on the contrary, but in the face of a burning building and jumping to escape, ultimately, for Light, the flames were worse than the fear of falling to his death. In the end, everything would be better if he could hurry along a demise he realized now was inevitable, it didn't matter if they captured the original Kira. He was still doomed as it was the human condition, and he highly doubted he would be able to recover from the point he had sunk to. He had been released from this curse once, and he hadn't magically healed, so if this went on any longer, there would be no point in trying to live. 

Yet he had woken up to the sound of his Dad sobbing and had found himself in the chamber again, very much alive and pain through his neck. Light remembered squeezing his eyes shut and trying to fall back asleep where the pain couldn't get him.

Justice came before everything else, but that didn't change the fact that hearing his Dad's cries felt like someone was twisting a knife into his stomach more than the pains from his illness. He knew that he wasn't going to be left alone for a second after this, and that meant inevitably somebody was going to ask about what happened. Maybe if he pretended to sleep, nobody would talk to him.

He shouldn't have been surprised Ryuzaki didn't care about such social norms, yet he was caught off guard enough by the gentle hand brushing away his bangs that he opened his eyes.

Light opened his mouth to say something and cringed at the pain in his throat, and he looked at Ryuzaki, really looked at him. He looked so tired, and his cheeks were flushed. Oh no, was Ryuzaki getting sick? Was this contagious?

He chose to shrink away and not meet Ryuzaki's somber eyes and tried to turn so his back was to the detective, only to come face to face with his father, who pulled him into a hug without a word.

Something snapped inside Light, being held like this, and he buried his face in his Dad's shoulder and began to cry, "Dad..."

"Oh, Light," his Dad whispered, running his fingers through Light's hair to soothe him, "I was so scared I was about to lose you."

"It's too late," Light whispered softly, his shoulders shaking, "I don't—I can't—" he felt a hand cupping his cheek, and he looked up to meet eyes so much like his, tired and pained,

"If anyone can survive this, Light, I know it's you. You've been a fighter since the day you were born. You just can't give up, even if it's hard."

Light looked back with all the strength he could muster and saw that Ryuzaki had fallen asleep. That was probably good, but it came as a surprise.

"But... he'll drop the case." He tried to say more, but his sore throat protested, and his father noticed this, laying him back down on the bed and helping him drink some water.

Another spasm of pain hit him in his abdomen, and a small whine forced itself out of his throat as he curled into a ball, and he paused when he felt something warm there now, which looked like a heavy bean bag, and he smiled a bit and looked up at his Dad,

"Your mother made it for you," he said, "When she heard what happened, she gave me plenty of supplies to help you. Sayu's mentioned the heat packs help when she has pains."

The faces of his mother and sister appeared in his mind, and Light began to shake again, hugging himself and relishing the warmth which eased the pain in his abdomen. He had been so desperate for an escape to his agony that he'd forgotten about them completely.

He regretted deeply what he had done, but he realized to his growing horror that the feelings that led him to try hadn't faded, and he would still much rather die quickly than drag out this torment any longer.

"I just want it to be over," he whispered, already feeling sleep trying to claim him again and pull him further into this illness until it swallowed him whole with no hope of returning to who he once was. 

"I know, Light..." his Dad held his clammy hand, "We're going to save you. Don't put on a brave face when you need help, Light, I want to help you. If you're ever in so much pain that you're thinking about..." he hesitated, "I'll be here to do whatever I can to make it more tolerable." He kissed Light's forehead, "Get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

Light forced a small smile, and it was easier to do than it had been earlier, turning back over and nuzzling up against Ryuzaki, and he was starting to nod off again when suddenly Ryuzaki wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close.

He didn't have enough time to process the strange feeling in his chest from the gesture before he was asleep again.

OoOoO

L woke up to the sound of shouting and looked down to see that he had wrapped his arms around Light at some point, holding him protectively as though shielding him from the world. Light coughed a little bit in his sleep, and L sighed, also noticing the chief was moments asleep in a chair at Light's bedside, but now he was awake.

"What's going on?" L asked sleepily, trying to figure out how to get his arms away from Light without waking the young man who needed all the rest he could get. Already the bruises around Light's neck were starting to darken, and L cringed at the sight, making a mental note to get a therapist for Light to help with what he was going through. 

He was able to get one arm free, but the second one was trickier, and Light ended up waking up, "Hm?"

"Go back to sleep, Light-Kun," L smiled a bit, "I just need to go check something." Light shook his head,

"I want to help," he rasped, voice barely a whisper and L tried to protest, but Light was already trying to force himself out of bed, only for his arms to give out and he flopped back against the pillows, and his expression was that of complete devastation.

L observed the pitiful sight, a twinge of upset making itself known to him as he thought of a compromise, "Your Dad will stay with you, and I promise I'll tell you everything that's happening, okay?"

Light sighed, rolling back over to go to sleep, and L left, doing his best not to let his instincts—which involved carrying Light to the main room so he could see all of this too—take over.

"What's going on?" L asked once he got into the main room, and was shocked by what he saw, of Matsuda pointing a gun at a screaming man under his foot, 

"Special delivery of one Kira," Matsuda glared down at the man, "Because I got him."


	9. Chapter 9

L looked down at the screaming man who seemed to have been curb-stomped by Matsuda to have ended up under the man's foot, "Matsuda-San, who is this?"

"Kyosuke Higuchi," Matsuda replied, "I was looking around the building. I saw him and seven others leaving a meeting, and I decided to follow Higuchi since he kept looking behind him. He then talked to someone called Rem, saying that people were going to discover he was Kira at this rate.

"You're insane!" Higuchi screamed, "I never said that!"

L looked up to Watari, "Check the footage."

It took a couple minutes, but not only did Watari find exactly what Matsuda was referring to but also the contents of the meeting. It was around this time that Higuchi stopped fighting Matsuda and knew this was a lost cause. He tried to look up, but Matsuda pressed his foot to Higuchi's head to ensure he couldn't see L's face.

Mogi and Aizawa were ready to come to their young coworker's aid, forcing a blindfold on and dragging him downstairs into a cell to be interrogated. 

L looked to Matsuda, "Remind me to pull some strings and get you a promotion." Matsuda's face lit up, and L got ready for questioning Higuchi, "You didn't make too much of a scene getting him out, right?"

"Nobody noticed if that's what you mean. He didn't put up much of a fight once I got the gun out."

"That's good," L turned on a monitor when he saw Higuchi was blindfolded and in a straitjacket, "Higuchi, this is L. I need to know everything there is to know about how you kill, and which Kira you are. Are you the original or the Second Kira?"

To his surprise, Higuchi started telling him everything without hesitation between pleas of being let go. However, he also said that he had only gotten his "notebook" from a Shinigami called Rem a little under a month ago, and L for the life of him couldn't find any sign that he was lying about that comment. 

Dread began to build up in his stomach. Could this really be a third Kira? That would—That would mean...

Had they been wasting all of Light's remaining time?

"Higuchi, where is this notebook now?"

"It's at my house. I can give up ownership, and you'll let me go, right? Right?" L decided not to respond, itching to ask this question he was beginning to dread the answer to.

"Is there a way to save someone whose name has been written down? As you may know, Light Yagami has been the victim of the Second Kira for nearly a month. How do we free him? If you can help me save him, I may be able to let you go in exchange for ownership of the notebook."

Higuchi stopped struggling, "There is no way to save someone whose name is written down. If there is, I don't know it! He should either be dead in twenty-three days or until this illness kills him! I'd help if I could, but there isn't anything I can do! I didn't do anything to him!"

No way to... L staggered back as though he had been slapped. Everyone else who was watching this also had varying expressions of devastation and horror. Soichiro had a hand over his mouth, stifling a heartwrenching cry, as Misa had insisted on caring for Light, and Watari had assumed Soichiro would want to hear how to save Light.

"No..." Matsuda exhaled, "No, no, this can't be true."

L felt his whole body shaking as he stared blankly at the keyboard with wide eyes, wet with unshed tears as he tore at his hair. Was this true? No, it couldn't be. There had to be a way to save Light. He had been fine for two days, which, now that he thought about it, had been at the twenty-three-day mark.

There had to be something Higuchi just didn't know, and that made sense if he hadn't had this "Death Note" for very long. Perhaps the Shinigami would be able to provide more answers to a way to save Light. 

He pressed a button on his keyboard, forcing himself into believing that Higuchi simply didn't know, not that Light was going to die no matter if L dropped the case or not.

_It just doesn't make sense if there wasn't a way, because even if I had dropped the case, Light still would have died and then I would jump back on with renewed vigor. Unless Light's death is supposed to be a warning that the Second Kira will continue to kill those close to me. But if that's the case, it would mean that Kira knows about Wammy's House and the kids, so why go for Light when it would be logical to conclude my successors would mean more to me than anything? And why drag out Light's suffering unless it's intended to make a very specific point to me?_

_No, there is clearly a way, and Higuchi doesn't know it—or he's a better liar than I thought, and he is the original or the second Kira. But I deduced there could be other people with Kira's killing power, so this makes sense._

"Wedy, I need you to go into Higuchi's house and bring me every notebook inside each and every room. Don't miss anything."

"Any particular reason?"

"Yes, since we have just learned a notebook is tied to Kira's killing power."

Soichiro was sitting down, seemingly in shock. Aizawa looked from where he was helping the Chief, back to L,

"You weren't serious about letting Higuchi go, right?"

"I was lying." L explained. Watari cleared his throat,

"Ryuzaki, who is going to tell Light about what we have learned? He has a right to know."

"I'll tell him," Soichiro whispered before sobbing, "This is all my fault... I shouldn't have let him join this case."

"Mr. Yagami," L stood tall, ignoring the exhaustion that made it hard to put one foot in front of the other, "There must be something Higuchi doesn't know. Think about it. Light flatlined twenty-three days into his illness, he was fine for a couple days, and then it started again, so there must be something that can be done."

Everyone paused before slowly lighting up with hope, and Soichiro managed to calm himself, 

"We can save him?"

"I will do everything in my power to keep him alive," L vowed, "That I can promise you, and if there is nothing I can do, I will come back with Kira's head." He sighed, turning away and back to the monitors, "For now, it is best not to inform Light-Kun. Once we know of the cure, we can tell him. I will need to be spending more time on this case than ever, and I need to find the Second Kira and this notebook. Perhaps it would be best for Light-Kun's family to keep him company for the time being."

"Really?" Aizawa asked, "I thought we weren't supposed to bring anyone."

"Yes, but I need to work, and somebody needs to tend to Light-Kun."

"I understand, Ryuzaki," Soichiro nodded as though trying to convince himself that everything would truly be okay, "I'll call Sayu and Sachiko."

OoOoO

Light hadn't realized how much he needed Ryuzaki around until waking hours passed without the detective around. There was nothing to distract him from his pain. When Misa was around, she typically annoyed him until eventually, he fell asleep, but his fever had spiked to the point that he was too exhausted to move—even though his position was getting extremely uncomfortable, actual sleep eluded him.

So here he was, staring out the window at the setting sun marking another passing day. How many had passed since this had all began? He had lost count. Could he see the fireworks with L?

Wait... he had just wanted to see them. When had Ryuzaki being there been part of the plan? The detective was busy, so why would he bother?

He whimpered quietly as another spasm of pain ran all the way up his back, and he could hear Misa trying to ask him what was wrong, but his body felt as though he was underwater at this point, so he could barely hear what she was saying. Perhaps it was the new medications Watari was giving him through the IV that left him feeling out of touch with anything but the occasional pain and thoughts of soft grey eyes belonging to someone who had held him when he needed it most.

What the hell was he thinking? What were these pain medications doing to his head?

He heard the door open but found he couldn't move more than his head to face it. A blurry figure came through the door, followed by two others...

...

This had been the longest month of Soichiro's life.

It was hard enough to even consider his son being locked up indefinitely as the prime suspect of a mass murder investigation. But to know the only reason Light's innocence was proven was that he was on the brink of death made Soichiro's entire being hurt more than he had ever thought possible. 

And... And Higuchi was saying there was no cure.

Ryuzaki was sure there was, or had at least deluded himself into thinking so, but looking at Light now, as much as Soichiro prayed to any and all gods that he hadn't believed in before this, he wasn't sure Light would recover.

Light looked like a shell of who he used to be, his face gaunt, and entire body sucked of the life within. The only color was the faintest fever flush, which even then could barely keep the death grey away, that had just barely begun to fade before this nightmare started again. The band of bruising around his neck had darkened even more in a sickening sight. 

Light needed his family, even if he yearned for Ryuzaki. A tiny selfish part of Soichiro wanted to leave all of the care to the detective, so he wouldn't need to watch his son waste away. However, he squashed those thoughts, knowing that he needed to stay by Light's side no matter how painful it got.

Sayu and Sachiko were seeing this horrific sight for the first time, and how much Light had deteriorated in a month. Sachiko gasped and threw a hand over her mouth, and Sayu's response was "holy fuck," and ran over to her brother's side. He would typically criticize her for the language, but that was honestly a fair response for what she was seeing the Second Kira had done to her brother, who hadn't deserved any of this torment.

Soichiro looked to Misa, "May we have a moment alone with him?" Misa crossed her arms but knew that if she had any hope of marrying into this family, she had to obey, so she left.

He should have put his foot down when Light said he would go through this for the sake of the case, back when it had just been a low fever and coughing. He should have forced Ryuzaki to drop this case. Maybe take his family far away from Japan and from Kira, cutting all ties to this investigation. He would do it for his family, and he should have done it a month ago. But it was too late, and Light lay on what may very well be his deathbed.

Judging by the IV in his arm and the clouded eyes, he was drugged to the teeth with pain medication and wouldn't be responding much. He probably didn't even know it was his family here with him.

Sayu was sitting next to Light, holding his hand firmly but still gentle enough to not hurt him, "Light, what has Kira done to you?" She looked up with tears in her eyes, "Dad, you have to be close to catching Kira and fixing this, right?"

Soichiro bit his lip, "It was discovered earlier today that there are three Kiras minimum. We captured one and L is going to be examining the power Kira uses to kill, and we are going to find a cure," he hesitated, looking at Light, whose eyes drifted closed and his weak breathing was starting to even out. He pulled Sayu and Sachiko to the side, gesturing for them both to sit down, "The Kira we captured today, he hasn't had the power for very long, but... he said there isn't a cure."

Stunned silence between the two women, before Sayu ran back to Light as Sachiko wailed, 

"NO!" She got up, needing to lean on her husband for support, realizing fully that they might lose their son.

Sayu was clinging to her brother, "Come on, Light, you have to get better, you have to!" 

"L," Soichiro interjected, "Has a persuasive theory that there is a cure this new Kira simply doesn't know about." Sayu glared, 

"You couldn't have started with that?!"

"I know," he ran his hands through his hair, "But I need you both to prepare for the worst, just in case."

Sachiko shook her head, still trying to compose herself, "I'll get some cold water for him." She rushed off, and Sayu was still holding Light's hand,

"There's no need to prepare for the worst," she insisted, "Light's fought against Kira and lived this long, right? He can hang in there until we find a cure. If there isn't one," she nodded to herself, "Then I'll just go find one!" 

Soichiro smiled as Sachiko came back with a washcloth and a bucket of ice water, sitting down next to Light and using the cloth to cool his neck and forearms. 

Light opened his eyes blearily and looked at the one cooling him off, but he still didn't seem to be aware enough to speak, and that was okay. Sayu smiled softly,

"Hey, Oniichan. We came to visit you." She forced a chuckle, "You've been getting a lot of gifts sent to the house by worried friends, maybe a few admirers. People are worried about you." Light stared at her, and Sayu took that as good enough, cuddling up next to her older brother.

Soichiro watched on, pleading again to whoever would listen that Ryuzaki was right about Higuchi being wrong, and there actually was a cure. It was foolish to listen to someone like that anyway, and yet he still heard those dreadful words ringing in his head, which fueled his already existing fears of nothing being able to be done.

"Soichiro," Sachiko looked up, "It would be best if we were together as a family in this," she sighed, "But Light needs you to find Kira and get that cure more than anything. We can stay with him."

Sayu nodded, "Yeah, Dad, Light needs as many people looking for the cure as he can get."

"Are you sure?" He asked, and both women nodded, so he got up, "Alright then. I'll come back to help carry Light for his treatment in an hour, and come get me if you need anything or there's a change in his condition." He got up, not wanting to leave Light's side, but knowing that with how exhausted Ryuzaki was lately, they needed all the help they could get.

He accidentally bumped into Matsuda in the hallway, "Oh—Chief, I-I was just about to see if you guys needed anything to eat."

"We're okay," Soichiro placed a hand on Matsuda's shoulder, "You did well today. Now we're one step closer to solving this case."

Matsuda's face lit up, "You really think so?" 

Soichiro nodded, "You're skilled with quick thinking. I'll have to take that into consideration with future investigations."

"Thank you so much, Chief! It means a lot to hear," Matsuda's good mood faded, "How's Light?"

"Drugged," he looked back at the door, "Watari had suggested earlier to induce Light again, put him back in a coma until the case is over, just in case. I know that as soon as Light comes back to himself, he would refuse that idea and want to help, but would inducing him be a better idea in the long run? I don't know anymore."

Matsuda shrugged, a forced smile painted on his face, "I'm sure that won't be necessary. We have the Death Note now, and Ryuzaki will come up with a plan."

"You're right. I just hate having to rely on Ryuzaki to save my son."

"I agree," Matsuda guided him along, "Maybe he can give us something to do."

OoOoO

Two days had passed, and L was running on coffee while pacing around the main room again, because he began spacing out every time he sat down. He had lost 76% of his deductive reasoning, both physically and emotionally drained past what should be his limit, but he had so many things he had to know.

The Shinigami was called Rem, and she was about as helpful as talking to a brick wall. L had looked through the Death Note and saw there were not many names in it at all, but at the very front, there were subtle marks as though pages had been torn out. But the notebook still seemed full. Rem said that pages replenished if some were torn out, and she got this Death Note from another Shinigami who didn't need it anymore, so that Shinigami may have been the one to tear out a page and leave that mark.

Rem also said there were some things she could only tell the owner of the notebook, but that would only happen if Higuchi gave up ownership or died. L had arranged for his execution as soon as he could, and because of that, Higuchi had kept ownership. It seemed that he had just stopped trying, knowing his life would be over regardless.

L had told Interpol about his progress on the case, learning there were three Kiras by capturing one and now knew how they kill, and he could take this into consideration when coming up with a plan. They applauded his work and acknowledged that taking seven months made much more sense now if he had been trying to track three different people, for a time having no reason not to believe it was all one person. So doubts about his skills were erased, but that didn't erase the stress L was feeling as the clock kept ticking.

If what Higuchi had said was true, then it seemed that Light had been tormented for twenty-three days, and then the cycle somehow began anew, and while this gave him a basic structure for how the illness would progress from here, that didn't exactly bring any comfort.

Even if there was a cure, L knew he needed the Second Kira's Death Note for that, and to make that happen, he needed to find the Second Kira. But how?

Misa came in, "Ryuzaki, Light's delirious and asking about you again."

L sighed, "I'm alright, just busy. Tell him that I'm trying to save him, and I'll stop by as soon as I can." Misa left, and Rem looked to L. It was well past midnight, and L assumed Misa was only awake because everyone else needed sleep, and Light could barely move on his own from the muscle atrophy.

"Who is that girl?" Rem asked, and L shrugged,

"She was the original suspect for the Second Kira, but she's since been proven innocent. Still, she sent out tapes with the Second Kira's message, and she couldn't have been controlled, or she would be dead by now according to the rules of the notebook, so that would mean she is working with the Second Kira and her feelings for Light are false. However, I doubt that's the case since she's just too stupid, but I, unfortunately, have to keep her here indefinitely until I know for sure."

"What would you do if she was working with the Second Kira?" Rem asked, and L sighed, 

"I don't even know. Misa's a celebrity, so revealing she's a seemingly former Kira supporter could have any sort of effect, and that isn't my concern right now. As long as I can use this to find the Second Kira."

He sat down for a moment to look at the computer screen as he forced his eyes to process what he was looking at but quickly found himself spacing out again.

Watari came in, not seeming happy in the slightest, and L got up quickly.

Everything went black, and the last thing he heard as he barely processed hitting the floor was Watari shouting his name. 


	10. Chapter 10

Light arched his back from where he was lying in bed, panting, and barely able to function, "Zaki!" He screamed again. Soichiro dunked the cold washcloth back into the bucket of water wrung it out before putting it back on Light's forehead,

"Shhh, Ryuzaki will be here soon." But it didn't seem Light was able to understand, opening his clouded eyes slightly and crying,

"Where's Zaki? Zaki..."

"Who's Zaki?" Sayu asked, and Soichiro sighed,

"Ryuzaki works with L and has been taking care of Light for the most part since they became friends at To-Oh. Light's grown dependant on him since he got sick." Sayu got up,

"I'll go get him."

"Sayu, he's working with L to find a cure."

Light continued to cry in his delirium and tried to roll off the bed. Soichiro had to catch him hastily, and Sachiko gave him a sip of water, which Light could barely drink. The basic human instinct was to suckle, and it didn't seem Light was even capable of that. Small sips of the water were the only way to make sure he got anything in his system.

Not this time, it seemed, before Light very quickly started coughing while drinking, leading to him starting to choke somewhat. Thankfully he was still able to cough, and therefore breathe. All Soichiro could do was cradle Light and soothe him through it as Light's entire frail frame trembled.

When he finally managed to relax, he clung to his father's arm, "Zaki... Where's Zaki?"

"That's it." Sayu stormed out, shouting out, "Hey! Ryuzaki! Where are you?!" 

Watari helped Sayu back in, "Ryuzaki just collapsed."

"Collapsed?!" Soichiro asked in a panic, "Was it Kira? Rem?!"

"No, nothing like that," Watari assured quickly, "He hasn't slept well in a week and stood up too quickly. That's all. Though I doubt he'll be awake for a while."

Soichiro sighed, looking to Light, "Can I bring Light into Ryuzaki's room? He won't rest properly, just asking for Ryuzaki constantly."

"I think that would be alright."

With that, Soichiro scooped Light into his arms, wrapped in a blanket, "Sachiko, Sayu, try to get some sleep. I know you both need it." He didn't check to see if they listened, carrying Light, "I'm taking you to Ryuzaki, okay?"

Light didn't reply, and he weighed so little that Soichiro had to do a double-take and make sure he hadn't dropped his son at some point. Light had always been unnervingly underweight, but this illness had robbed him of even more to the point he couldn't even stand on his own. 

He found Ryuzaki quickly, and he looked even more tired than he typically did, his cheeks having a slight flush to them. His chest rose and fell evenly.

Soichiro pulled the sheets back and tucked Light in next to Ryuzaki. Making little noises as he tried to move, Light nuzzled up with Ryuzaki, with a small whisper of "Zaki." 

If he hadn't known before, he did now. Soichiro smiled to himself a bit at how obvious it was that Light had fallen for L or valued their friendship to the point of trusting him with little question.

Ryuzaki had considered Light being Kira, and that had led Light to wonder himself.

Ryuzaki was the one Light wanted by his side through all of this.

Ryuzaki was the one Light had made promise to be with him as he died. Not his father or mother or sister or Misa. It was Ryuzaki.

Soichiro shook himself away from those kinds of realizations about his son's love life. It wasn't any of his business. Light's health was what he should be focusing on.

Should they induce Light into a coma again? It would help with the damage to his brain brought on by the fever, but was it the right thing to do? He remembered how much Light had cried the first time, thinking it was a lethal injection. Though the fact he had believed that opened a whole different can of worms.

He sighed, kissing Light's forehead, seeing he was finally sleeping now, cuddled up with L. At least he was asleep.

"Sweet dreams, Light." 

OoOoO

L came back to reality slowly, the first thing he processed being that he was somewhat lightheaded. Then there was the weird feeling of his arm. Then something hot up against him.

He forced his heavy eyelids open and found that he had an IV in his arm, and Light was snuggled up against him. Not that there was anything wrong with the latter, but as he looked around, he realized he was in his bed in his own room, not sharing Light's room like what typically happened when he found himself sleeping next to Light.

But when had he gone to sleep? How had he gotten here? Why was there an IV in his arm? These were all really important questions. However, first thing's first was that he realized now that he had he relieve himself badly.

He ended up maneuvering himself out and replacing his body with a pillow for Light to lean against in hopes of not waking him and then wheeling the IV drip into the bathroom to do what he had to do.

While washing his hands, he looked in the mirror, and he looked like he had been to hell and back or like he had been sleeping for way too long.

First thing's first was to figure out what was going on.

When he left the bathroom, he saw Watari had come in with a tray of food, "Have you had a good nap?"

L looked out the window and saw it was probably midday. "I've wasted too much time. Yes, I know it was only a couple hours, but I have to get back to work. And why is there an IV in my arm?"

"L," Watari stressed, "You were unconscious for three days. We tried everything but couldn't wake you up. The IV is to make sure you still got your fluids."

Silence as L tried to process that, rushing over to Light, who woke up sleepily and smiled, "You're up."

"Yeah," part of him wanted to get back in bed with Light and stay there, but no, he had to work and find a cure. Oh hell, he had wasted so much time sleeping that he could be using to find the Second Kira! "Light, I need to go work to save you, okay?" Light slumped, and Watari forced L to sit down,

"L, no. You have been out cold for days, you need to eat." L took some cake off the tray and ran out the door, but Watari stopped him, "The firework festival is tonight. Take Light to the roof this evening so he can see it. It's forty-five minutes, L, you can take a break." 

"But—"

"Please?" Light asked, letting out a hacking cough. L felt himself soften at the small request, and while the logical part of his brain told him to refuse, the rest of him was what was in control.

"Alright, Light-Kun, just rest while I work." L walked out hastily and into the main room where Rem and the others were, "Have you found anything."

"You're up!" Matsuda cheered, and L nodded

"I didn't mean to be sleeping for so long." He said, reading through the Death Note and trying to think of a plan.

...

Rem had no idea what was going on at all.

When she got here, she had expected to see Light Yagami working among the task force, and maybe planning something involving Misa. But what he was doing was so different it was perplexing.

First of all, he was basically making sure Misa could never work with him, and for that, Rem was grateful and knew that she had been right in as of late considering the boy to be as pure-hearted as Misa.

But what she hadn't expected was that it seemed he was abusing the Death Eraser's power to keep himself in a loop of constant agony to clear his name. There were other ways to do that, right? What was going on in Light Yagami's head? What was his endgame?

More importantly: could the Death Eraser even be used like this? Yes, she supposed it could, but wouldn't it have lasting effects on his life from here on out if it was used this way? He wouldn't just heal overnight, would he?

This, admittedly, wasn't her area of expertise, the thought process of humans. That honor went to Ryuk. Maybe she should go find him and ask for some information about the situation. It didn't matter as long as this was protecting Misa, so she was mostly just making sure this plan wouldn't hurt Misa.

Then again, Light Yagami was vital to Misa's happiness, so she must be miserable seeing him the way he had been for a long time now.

Should she just tell L Lawliet about the Death Eraser? Or would that get in the way of Light Yagami's plan?

She had no idea, so she decided to simply watch quietly.

OoOoO

L carried Light up to the roof of the building, the gentle breeze blowing in his hair, and Light was wrapped up in a warm jacket and a beanie as he was set on one of the ledges, where there were railings to keep from falling off, but it would give him a good view.

The sun had gone down a little bit ago, and L sat down next to Light. The two of them were alone since Watari had managed to convince the haggard Yagami family to go down there in person, and Light would be cared for here. None of them had seemed happy about it and were practically forced to leave.

Light was thankfully having one of his better days, and he watched the sky, tired, but there was a sparkle in his eyes. L turned and saw that one of the speakers up here was playing soft piano music.

"I didn't think I would still be alive," Light whispered, and L felt burning behind his eyes at the idea of having been without Light for too long. A thought had been haunting him all day, of if Light had died while he was asleep, and he hadn't been there to keep his promise.

There was something innocent about Light, even through all the horrors he knew of and had suffered lately. It was hard to believe he had thought this young man could be Kira. Then again, this youthful joy could just be from the relief to have survived to get to this point.

He wanted to say something, but words were difficult, and he couldn't think of anything to say that would get the message he wanted to say across. In truth, he didn't even know what said message was, just that he had one and didn't know how to say it.

Thankfully, he didn't have to, as the sound of a firework was heard, and L was amazed and the stunning colors. He could already tell that Mello and Matt would love this. Near would like the colors but hate the loud sounds, so staying back here from a distance would be ideal for him if he was here.

Light's face lit up, and he leaned his head on L's shoulder, shivering from the breeze, and L wrapped him in the extra blanket he had brought up, sitting quietly with Light for the whole firework show.

"Thank you," Light whispered, looking up at him, "For letting me see this and being here."

"Of course, Light-Kun," L assured him, brushing back a strand of hair stuck to Light's cheek. 

Light suddenly leaned forward, brushing his lips against L's, and L felt his whole body go completely still and his face heated up, and his brain short-circuited as he tried to process what just happened.

Did Light just kiss him? Was it an accident? Was it intentional? And what do you do in this situation? Do you apologize? Do you say thank you? 

He had never been so relieved to see Light had fallen asleep, so he couldn't see the complete and utter confusion throughout L's being, so he only had to carry him back as the last firework went off behind him, and he tucked Light back in once they reached his room.

If Light had been intentional with that kiss, L had to quickly figure out what his own feelings were, and the idea of delving into emotions seemed like a more perverse challenge than capturing the Second Kira—and speaking of which, he really needed to get back to the case. 

L didn't want to lead Light on if he was unsure of his own emotions, and he didn't know what that feeling he had been dealing with since this whole mess began was. He didn't want to pretend.

Pretend? Maybe it was his subconscious trying to avoid the question of what his feelings for Light were, but he had just gotten an idea of how to capture the Second Kira.


End file.
